


Why Didn´t I See It?

by NadiaAlexis



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Sadness, Suicide, sad!dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-29
Updated: 2016-10-29
Packaged: 2018-08-27 18:02:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8411224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NadiaAlexis/pseuds/NadiaAlexis
Summary: Dean just couldn´t do it anymore. He couldn´t stand being himself, he was just disapointing everyone around him.





	

Dean sat on his bed in the motel room. He was all alone. He had been for a while. He had never been good at being alone. He always began to think and that was never good when he thought about himself. The truth is, Dean couldn´t hate himself more if he tried. Always had. And his father John was the starter for it. Dean was never good enough as a child and it stuck with him as an adult. Nothing Dean did was ever good enough, he was always a failure to his father. And Dean believed him. In Dean´s own mind, he was useless. He always messed everything up and he could never protect Sam enough. He always let Sam get hurt, no matter how much he tried.

Dean had a glass of whiskey in one hand and a bottle of pills in the other. Sleeping pills that Dean had had for months because if he didn´t take them, he couldn´t sleep. Sam never knew about them, because he didn´t ask and Dean didn´t tell. Sam probably didn´t even care if Dean slept enough. 

Dean sat staring at the two items in his hands and took a deep breath. He could do it. He was strong enough to end his own misery. At least he should be. He ignored the voice in his head that sounded like John, telling him that was he was about to do, only cowards do. Then Dean was a coward. Fine. He was a useless coward. Tears made their way down Dean´s face as he swallowed the pills down with the help of the whiskey and laid down on the bed with a sad sigh. He could already feel the effect the pills had and he knew that soon, Dean would fall asleep for the last time. The glass and the bottle of pills fell to the floor as Dean´s hand went slack.

\---

Sam had the feeling that something was wrong but he couldn´t figure out what it was. Whatever it was made him twitchy, he couldn´t sit still.

“Is something wrong Sam?” Castiel asked the taller male.

“I feel like something is wrong, but I don´t know what” Sam answered. “It´s annoying the hell out of me”

Castiel tilted his head to the side like he always did when he was confused or worried. “Maybe you are starting to become sick”

“I doubt that” Sam sighed. “I don´t think something is wrong with me, more like someone else”

“Maybe Dean?” Castiel asked hesitantly. 

Sam growled at the name of his older brother. “I doubt that. He´s probably sleeping with some girl right now. Enjoying himself to the fullest”

Castiel only nodded his head slowly. He didn´t know what to say to that so he didn´t say anything. Him and Sam were working a case involving vampires. It was easy so far, Sam and Castiel knew where the nest was, they were just waiting for the right moment to strike and take the nest out. Sam hadn´t thought about his older brother since he left him in a Motel in Ohio. They had had a big fight just before Sam left and Sam had said some things that he didn´t mean but he was way too angry to call Dean and tell him that he was sorry for it. 

Dean hadn´t called him either and it was over three weeks ago. Sam wasn´t worried about Dean. He could take care of himself. But it seemed like Castiel was worried about Dean.

“I´ll call him when we are done here” Sam said. “Alright?”

Castiel nodded. “If that is what you wish to do”

Sam sighed and nodded his head. They were watching the nest and suddenly they could see the master of the nest walk out. It was probably hunting time for them. Sam and Castiel moved out of the car they were in and moved in for the kill. It was easy to kill the vampire and the rest of the nest fell easily. Sam considered it a job well done when Castiel suddenly frowned.

“Cass?” Sam asked. “What´s wrong?”

“Dean” Castiel responded and suddenly flashed the two of them away from the vampire nest.

When Sam could see again, he was shocked. His big brother was laying on the same motel room bed that Sam had left him on three weeks ago. But he wasn´t breathing. 

“Dean!” Sam shouted and ran forward.

He was knocked back by a bright light. Sam stared in shock as Gabriel, who they all thought was dead, stood in front of him with angry and sad eyes. 

“Don´t touch him” Gabriel hissed out.

“What do you mean don´t touch him?!” Sam asked. “He´s my brother!”

“Exactly” Gabriel glared at him. “And you weren´t here when he needed you the most”

“Please Gabriel” Sam begged. “Just let me help him!”

“It´s too late” Gabriel shifted his eyes to Dean´s unmoving form on the bed. “He´s already gone”

“Then bring him back!” Sam shouted.

“No” Gabriel shook his head. “I won´t”

“Why?!” Sam yelled at the archangel.

“Because he didn´t want me to” Gabriel said. “I tried. But he didn´t let me”

“What do you mean?” Castiel asked. 

“Dean didn´t want my help” A tear fell from Gabriel´s eye. “He did this to himself and I was too late to fix it without his consent”

“H-he killed himself?” Sam asked shocked.

“You can´t seriously be telling me that you didn´t know that Dean was suicidal?” Gabriel stared at Sam in shock.

“I didn´t” Sam whimpered.

Gabriel opened his mouth to say something but he closed it again without a word. He sat himself down next to Dean. Sam watched as the archangel petted Dean´s hair with a soft expression on his face.

“He´s alright now” Gabriel sighed softly. “He has everything he ever wanted”

“What is that?” Sam asked sadly with tears running down his face.

“Peace” Gabriel responded. 

“Where is he?” Castiel asked.

Gabriel looked up at his younger brother. “In my own home in heaven”

Castiel stared at Gabriel in shock. “Why?”

“Because that is where he belongs” Gabriel glared at both Castiel and Sam. “As my mate he has the right to be in my home whenever he wants to. And now, that is where he is”

“Dean Winchester is your mate?” Castiel asked chocked.

“Was” Gabriel responded sadly.

“Can´t you bring him back?” Sam asked.

“No” Gabriel growled. “He does not want me to bring him back. If he wanted to be here, then he would not have taken his own life”

Gabriel shifted so he could cradle Dean´s body in his arms as he stood. The look on Gabriel´s face was full of grief and pain. He looked up at Sam and Castiel with angry eyes. 

“Hope you know that this is basically your own fault” He said. “You should have known that Dean hated being alone. He thinks too much when he is alone. And this time, it led to this”

Both Castiel and Sam looked down, ashamed. Gabriel wasn´t done though. 

“And just so you know” He chuckled coldly. “He´s been dead for hours. And you didn´t even notice. He was supposed to be your charge Castiel. And you failed him”

With that, Gabriel disappeared with the sound of fluttering wings, leaving the hunter and angel standing alone in the motel room that Dean Winchester spent his last moments in alone.


End file.
